Temptation to start again
I am tempted to crack open the toolset today. It's the strongest temptation I've felt since I decided to take a break about a month ago. I miss the story telling, and creative outlet. I've even received a kind offer from a fellow modder I greatly respect to help with some scripting.
I really want to open it up and get back to work.
On the other hand. It tends to DOMINATE my time. I am more likely to stop working on the computer right now and go outside, exercise, get involved in other more practical projects, and spend time with my kids.
My wife and kids always come first, but I am also acutely aware of the pull that modding holds over me. I frequently get to the point where I am excited about and trying to carve out blocks of time to work on my modding project, to the detriment of other activities and interests. I feel mentally free since I've been on my break.
My kids start school in a few weeks and I'm using that as an excuse to hold off on starting up again. I need my time and energy to help them.
I did pick up the 4th edition Players Handbook and DMG and have been reading them. I think I'd be satistifed with a good old fashion real, regular D&D game. I used to run them and I think that's what I am REALLY hungering for, but that also seems quite impossible.
So, I am tempted, but torn and am tying to resist at the moment. I miss many things about modding, and there are other things I don't miss at all and am happy to be rid of.
In short, I'm still on vacation, at least semi-retired. :-)
I really want to open it up and get back to work.
On the other hand. It tends to DOMINATE my time. I am more likely to stop working on the computer right now and go outside, exercise, get involved in other more practical projects, and spend time with my kids.
My wife and kids always come first, but I am also acutely aware of the pull that modding holds over me. I frequently get to the point where I am excited about and trying to carve out blocks of time to work on my modding project, to the detriment of other activities and interests. I feel mentally free since I've been on my break.
My kids start school in a few weeks and I'm using that as an excuse to hold off on starting up again. I need my time and energy to help them.
I did pick up the 4th edition Players Handbook and DMG and have been reading them. I think I'd be satistifed with a good old fashion real, regular D&D game. I used to run them and I think that's what I am REALLY hungering for, but that also seems quite impossible.
So, I am tempted, but torn and am tying to resist at the moment. I miss many things about modding, and there are other things I don't miss at all and am happy to be rid of.
In short, I'm still on vacation, at least semi-retired. :-)
Hi Earnie,
ReplyDeleteI know that feeling of wanting to use the toolset, and yet at the same time not wanting to feel beholden to it because of all the time it consumes.
I think the best answer is to try to take each day at a atime, and if you have some spare time and want to do a little something, then have a go.
The problem is that I know how easy that even a "small project" can suddenly spiral into something big.
I have times (like now) when I need to take a step back, and then I take a look at what others are doing. I als fond that helps to stimulate me into doing more, without feeling so bad about it. ;)
I have earmarked your blog on mine now anyway, as I thought you were definitely one of those I should watch as time goes by, so that must say something. :)
Cheers!
Lance.
Thanks for the post Lance and good to make your acquaintance. I'll post a link to your blog and check it out.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback, it's much appreciated.
Hi Ernie,
ReplyDeleteSorry about the typo in your name last time.
Thanks for the blog link. :)
Lance.
Hi ernie
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about dominating time. I lot of time i'd normally spend out walking/hiking, I've been sat at my desk on the toolset, which isn't great for me. I'd also stopped playing other games. And recently i've had holiday/free time, but it's felt more like sitting at the toolset is a routine at the moment - I'm sitting there as I feel I should rather than to acheive something. SO i've been taking a small break-ish - still on the toolset but not as much, and getting round to playing other games I've been meaning too. Also playing more NWN2 content
Modding alowed me to find the creative spark i didn't realise I need - I think much as you describe. Part of me thinks about directing that at writing now i have the drive. But like you I'd really like to pen-and-paper more, and I miss running the play-by-forum I did (although I don't have the time to commit to that I once did). I tried MP for the first time the othe rday and really enjoyed it. Be up for that if it's a way to get the PnP feel (time difference issues aside)...
I went through the same thing after releasing chapter 1 tho... so maybe properly taking time out is good.
So take it easy. Playing with the kids for a few more weeks sounds like an excellent plan
Thanks lance!
ReplyDeleteWyrin, you've hit the nail on the head. What you've written sounds very much like how I think and feel about all this.
I miss the creative outlet. I too would love to write, but I am not sure I have the knack for it. I do miss D&D games.
I played a game of 'Dungeon!' with two of my sons last night and had a blast. It's an old TSR board game, if D&D were distilled down to a simplistic board game, 'Dungeon' would be it. We had a good time.
I'll just try to stay focused on my kids and my health.
Ahh, old "Dungeon!" :) It brings back memories. Blue dragons, mummys and gigant snakes...
ReplyDeleteI miss PnP too. It was so darn long ago that playing with me would be like having to play with your 4 years little brother when you're teenager :)
I miss PnP. If I had a the time and opportunity for a real weekly or bi-weekly PnP game, I think that would put the nail in the coffin of my NWN modding, particularly if I could DM a game.
ReplyDeleteAh... one can dream.